Live An Extraordinary Life

Posts Tagged ‘fulfillment

What Photo courtesy of Jano Kray

Do You Feel Powerful or Powerless?

The extent to which we feel either powerful or powerless has a direct correlation with our state of mind. When we don’t feel powerful we are usually reacting rather than responding to life. That causes our state of mind to get confused or agitated which leaves us feeling less in control and not as resilient as we would like.

Sometimes things can get so hectic that we lose track of two very important facts:

1. We alone control our state of mind.

2. When we become the master of our state of mind we have found the secret to finding and keeping our power.

The Triple Crown of Our State Of Mind

There are three components that make up our state of mind:

  1. Emotions: How we feel
  2. Thoughts: What we think
  3. Beliefs: What we believe

Every experience we have is based upon the inter-relationship of these three things. When they are working in harmony, we experience our full personal power. When they are in discord, we feel controlled by something other than ourselves and less powerful.

Reclaiming our power doesn’t have to be a huge deal. It can be as simple as being in a bad mood and wanting to get out of it or feeling frustrated with a spouse and wanting to see him or her from a more positive perspective.  When we can make these types of adjustments in the moment, we have successfully learned to manage our state of mind and are living life on our own terms.

Are You In Control Of Your Life?

How you feel right now will tell you instantly if you are in control of your life. A simple rule of thumb: If you feel good, you’re on track, so keep doing what you’re doing. If you don’t feel good, it is the indication that you are not fully connected to your true self and your full power and that something needs to change.

Where most of us get stuck is when we may recognize that we don’t feel positive but we don’t understand the emotions, thoughts or beliefs that got us there. This makes it impossible to make a productive change.

Here’s What To Do: Understand The Situation From All Three Areas (Emotions, Thoughts and Beliefs)

Let’s say that your colleague received a promotion at work. When you hear the news, you congratulate her and feel genuinely happy for her. A short time later, you find yourself being impatient with people in the office and feeling agitated. You don’t know what has come over you but without question, you are feeling bad emotionally.

Break It Down and Get To The Source of What Is Happening

First, define as clearly as you can the emotions that you are feeling. In this situation perhaps it starts with agitation. You go deeper and discover you are also feeling frustrated, fearful maybe even angry, jealous or betrayed.

Next, examine the thoughts that you have been thinking since you got the news of the promotion. Maybe things like, “I work just as hard as Sally and for what?” or, “I’m never going to be able to afford to send my kids to college if I don’t make more money” or, “That was the perfect job for me and now it’s gone.”

Now, be brutally honest and uncover the beliefs you are holding that are behind your thoughts and ask yourself if they are actually true for you. In this case some beliefs could be:

  • There are a limited number of opportunities.
  • I’m getting older and am going to start being overlooked for promotions.
  • I am always treated unfairly and don’t get what I deserve.

Ask yourself if these beliefs help you feel good or bad.

The Secret: Change The Belief And Your Experience Will Change

We experience a diffusion of our power when our emotions, thoughts and beliefs are out of alignment. If you’ve discovered that your beliefs aren’t working productively for you, start by defining new ones.

If you find yourself having a hard time letting go of outdated beliefs and creating new ones, appeal to your own logic. Ask yourself why you would have a belief that generates negative thoughts and makes you feel less powerful than you could be? Then play with the question, “What belief would lead to positive thoughts and feeling good?”

Here are some examples:

  • “There is an abundance of opportunities that are right for me and that will pay me handsomely.”
  • “If this were meant to be, it would have happened”. 
  • “I have a multitude of talents and strengths that are, and will continue to be, matched perfectly with my career goals.”

And Now For Your Thoughts

Shifting to positive beliefs will lead to a different set of thoughts such as:

  • “Sally’s promotion is great news. I think I’ll meet with my manager to let her know my goals and to get her feedback on what my opportunities are for getting promoted.” 
  • “Sally’s promotion has really helped me get clear  on what I want professionally. I think I’ll talk with the boss to see if  what I’d like to do is possible here in this organization. I hope it is, but, if it isn’t, I’ll begin to plan my next move. This is exciting.”

Powerful Emotions

These thoughts lead to emotions such as:

  • Confidence
  • Enthusiasm
  • Optimism
  • Excitement

These emotions help us think positively and that leads to well-directed, powerful action that helps us achieve our goals.

Our state of mind is where our power is. Continued focus on actively managing it will result in the ability to unleash your extraordinary power to live your extraordinary life.

Sheila Madden is the CEO of Madden Coaching & Consulting where she coaches and consults with leaders of high growth companies, individuals wanting to  Live An Extraordinary Life and new college graduates who are ready to launch their careers with competence, confidence and character.

2012 Copyright Madden Coaching & Consulting. All Rights Reserved.

Photo courtesy of Jano Kray

 People who have faith in themselves are powerful people. Not just because they accomplish a lot, which they do, but also because they have navigated through the “dark nights of the soul” that so often are the necessary catalyst for the achievment of extraordinary things. 

 Faith is, after all, believing in something that hasn’t yet appeared or may never appear to us in physical form. It is holding firm to our dreams in spite of their conspicuous absence in our current life experience. Having faith takes guts, will and character.

 Imagination Lights The Way 

An extraordinary life is one in which faith is the foundation and imagination the material from which we build. When we cultivate faith in ourselves it frees our imagination to play and dream. Once we can imagine what we want to accomplish during our lives, we are well on our way to making it happen.

 At times, following our dreams faithfully may feel exhilarating; at other times, perhaps hopeless. Sometimes the people we love will tell us we’re crazy to want to do the things we do. We might hear things like, “What are you thinking?” or “Who do you think you are?” And do you want to know the true secret of every person who lives life in faith? He or she often lays in the dark at night wondering if the detractors are right.  But in the light of day, he/she pursues and perseveres and always keeps moving forward. 

Without Doubt There Is No Faith

Achieving what we set out to accomplish in life rarely happens in instantaneous bold moves. For most of us, achievement is characterized by steady focused action at which we persist, even in the face of obstacles and doubts.

 It is a huge myth that having faith means one has no doubts. It is quite the opposite. In fact, it is impossible to have one without the other because faith is born when we look doubt straight in the eye and deny it any power to stop us.

 The poet David Whyte talks about this duality in the most real and human way in his poem, “Faith”:

 I want to write about faith, about the way the moon rises over cold snow, night after night, faithful, even as it fades from fullness,

slowly becoming that last curving and impossible sliver of light before the final darkness. 

But I have no faith myself. I refuse it the smallest entry. 

Let this then, my small poem, like a new moon, slender and barely open,

be the first prayer that opens me to faith.  

Success Comes To The Faithful  

Everyone reading this  has experienced times in life that are full and times when, like the moon, there is a fading from fullness. Much like the moon, our lives move in cycles. At times we may succeed wildly and at other times we may miss our target at every turn.

 Have you ever watched a sports event when the “star” is having an off game? These are the times when they prove why they are “stars” because they never stop shooting, swinging, running, or whatever it is that they do. In spite of failure, they keep trying. That is faith in action.

 To expect life to be a steady unchallenged continuum of bliss is unrealistic and, in truth, an act of betrayal to the human experience. It guarantees that we will be more troubled than happy; that we will have more stress than joy. Most important, however, is that a life lived with no obstacles challenged and overcome is a life devoid of courage, compassion, empathy and humor. 

The journey of life is truly a mystery. The more I learn the less I feel that I know. But one thing that I do know for certain is that I want to live life to the fullest and help others do the same. Faith and imagination are the cornerstones to making this happen.

Sheila Madden is the CEO of Madden Coaching & Consulting where she coaches and consults with leaders of high growth companies, individuals wanting to  Live An Extraordinary Life and new college graduates who are ready to launch their careers with competence, confidence and character.

2012 Copyright Madden Coaching & Consulting. All Rights Reserved.

Photo courtesy of Jano Kray


Shout From Your Soul Something Worth Remembering!

The world is small only when we agree to think and be small

How many times in a day do you engage your mind in calculating what is possible given what you know?

But what of what you don’t’ know?

What of hidden potential?

What would happen if you indulged your imagination and asked, “what if…?” and allowed the wilds of your intuition to relentlessly beckon you forward, to somewhere unknown

Abandon all thought of restriction

Go for it, whatever “it” is,  utterly and completely

Watch what happens in your mind your heart and your soul

Watch the effect on you and on those around you

What is there to lose?

Do you want to live your life and die your death knowing that you left something, anything, on the table?

That is the definition of hell

What will you do today and shout from your soul that is worth remembering?

Sheila Madden is the CEO of Madden Coaching & Consulting where she coaches and consults with leaders of high growth companies, individuals wanting to  Live An Extraordinary Life and new college graduates who are ready to launch their careers with competence, confidence and character.

2012 Copyright Madden Coaching & Consulting. All Rights Reserved.

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